are you having a holly, jolly Christmas?

This meant to be a Christmas Eve post, but then suddenly it became 12. So...Merry Christmas! There are so many things I want to write about. Christmas is my favorite time of year, and there are so many traditions and memories and things I am looking forward to. It always seems to go by too quickly. Every adult says, "each year gets faster!" I couldn't imagine life moving faster than it is right now. I am a little sad when Christmas comes because I am so depressed the day after. I never soak in enough Christmasness. Mostly I miss being a kid on Christmas. That was the BEST anticipation. I am sure I believed in Santa until I was 11, definitely the winner in my family. That year I even got a special letter from Santa thanking me for believing in him so long. (I am a very emotional person, and that year was depressing...as much for me as probably my mother) She is always doing sweet things, and finding the perfect surprises for everyone. I am jealous because I know I am not that great of a gift-giver, creative type person. I'm scared to be a Santa for kids because I wish I could be that thoughtful.

 Away from the cold and in a 75 degree Christmas (I don't care what anyone has to say about California...this is the BEST), this is about as close to snow as I will get this year!
I am going to share with you some Christmas traditions that I love-


#1 Christmas Food!
On Christmas Eve we eat clam chowder (ironically a tradition from both sides of my family). My dad makes it each year and it has become his staple.
Christmas morning after our Santa presents and stockings we get orange rolls and sausage. SO YUMMY. This only happens once a year and it is the absolute best. It's like dessert at 9 am.
Christmas dinner- Oh man. No turkey. No ham. Prime rib and twice baked potatoes. Our house smells warm and delicious for the entire day leading up to the prime rib. And the potatoes- my favorite. Ugh. This tradition will never leave me.


#2 Christmas Pj's

We get to open one present on Christmas Eve- and it's always new pajamas. This year's pj's rocked! I asked for some yoga pants in a nice neutral color since the only type of comfy pants I wear around are fire engine red sweatpants. Then my siblings started unwrapping theirs & they all had pretty sweet looking footsies. I was jealous. I opened this lil' number and BAM! All I saw were the kitty foots. Discaimer: I don't like cats, but this print was so wild, I knew these cats were special. The pj's even have POCKETS. I have been wanting footie pj's for quite some time now & couldn't find the perfect pair. Mama for the win.


#3 The Forgotten Carols
We always decorate our tree to The Forgotten Carols. I hadn't been home this year so I decided to look up the songs on youtube, and I realized how little I had actually listened to the meaning of the songs. My dad has sung a few of them throughout the years in church, and he's amazing. The songs are so different than the average Christmas Carols. They tell stories of people throughout Christ's life- like the innkeeper who wished he hadn't turned them down, Joseph, who told people that Christ was his father through his suffering and crucifixion, and a woman who held the baby Jesus. They are really something special.


#4 the, the, the... THE GRINCH

I LOVE the Grinch. These past couple years I have finally understood all the smart comments and cultural references- and they're hilarious! I quote this movie very often, and I don't think many people recognize it. 
 "If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."
"Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, black mail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, jury duty."
"Well, pucker up and kiss it, Whoville."
"Nice kid... baaad judge of character."
"Oh. Bleeding hearts of the world UNITE."
"5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one"


#5 "Homeless Bagging"
Yes, that is what my 6- year old sister called it today. Each Christmas Eve we take bags filled with water, food, blankets, socks and such and deliver it to people on the streets. It has always been a great tradition to prepare something for people and actually see and meet the people you are helping. It always brings a lot of joy to us when we get to serve these people...and hopefully one day my siblings can see to be a little less selfish because we already have so much more than we need. This is one of my favorite traditions and have been inspired to do it more often than just the holiday season.


Merry Christmas, more is sure to come!
 

me likey hats.

Yup, you guessed it! Finals are upon us. So this was my distraction to real work. It get's my brain flowing. ...haha. yeah. sure. mmkay well if this is the last you have heard of me, please find my dead, exhausted, test-failing body and bury me somewhere warm.

What do you mean by "opinionated"?

After my very inspiring and emotional "thanks" post i would like to continue on the ways of classiness with a "rant" post. Here it goes..
Approximately 31 minutes ago I received a text from my friend, Kevin, who is attending LDSBC. For those of you who are not accustomed to the Mormon lingo, this is the Latter-Day Saint Business College, located in Salt Lake City. For those of you who are even less accustomed to the term "Latter-Day Saint", this is the true, un-nicknamed title for "Mormons". Back to the point. He was wondering if I thought he would like BYU since he has spoken to other kids that have stated their opinion on why BYU sucks. Now, I'm not sure what these kids said, and I don't need to. I've heard enough to the people that even attend BYU. I have a few words for you my good friends:

You have no justification. Everything in life is what you make of it. Yeah, sure you can't just wave a wand and make your life a perfectly planned cake walk. But in any situation (even this is a hard concept for me to grasp) you can be HAPPY. This includes a school. Do you think that most kids that complain about their school have stopped and honestly thought about their attitude, and how it might be the root of their problems? No. They are too stuck in their ignorant little minds being selfish and victimized. Harsh you might say? Nay. Our campus is filled with the most outgoing and friendly people. People who will say hi to people they haven't met before, people who look behind them to see if they can hold the door open for them, professors that care about the welfare of you in your life, and not just an exam. I get it...people aren't perfect. And yes, it's not a fairy tale and everyone isn't like that. You find people everywhere you aren't the biggest fan of. But generally, the quality of people surpasses any other school.

What these people are most likely complaining about is the lack of the party atmosphere, right? I mean c'mon...how is the school founded upon the morals of no alcohol, no drugs, and no skank attire not rated first as the greatest party school? If you're here, then these should not be your guidelines for a good time. If these are your guidelines then please stop the corruption and give the chance to embrace the school's standards to someone who upholds them. If you aren't finding your entertainment value, then you're looking in the wrong places. Find some friends and do something you enjoy instead of shaking your fist at your predicament.

Last bit of rant-
This school is an accredited one. A school that is ranked among some of the best in the country. For quite a fraction of the cost. With the certificate of graduation comes a reputation of hard work, honesty, and trust. You attended a school that was not only aimed at your temporal welfare, but of your spiritual one. Whether or not you have a strong testimony of the gospel, attending this school and embracing all it has to offer you with an open heart will help mold you into a better person. If you let it.

Basically, it's up to you. Don't blame a university dedicated to your excellence for YOUR attitude. I love this place and every day I am so grateful to be here. There are so many people who were denied the chance to come here, and for some reason, I was allowed the chance. Same with you. Decide what you will make of it.  If you are so upset about attending this school, or any other blessing you have been given...then step aside and let someone in your place who values this great opportunity.

That is all.

Givin' Thanks

I know it's late, but what kind of person would I be if I didn't submit a Thanksgiving post? After all, I've definitely been blessed so much. I'm so thankful for my family. They have been there through it all my craziness, through the tears, and eventually letting go of me and supporting me in this first year of college. I always get so excited that my parents are interested in my future, that they want me to succeed. I've realized that this doesn't happen for everybody. I know that whatever I choose to study or to become, they will be there for me. I am an independent person, and I've been more than excited to get out of high school and start my life away from home, but I must admit that when I'm home I am sad to leave. I thought I wouldn't be sad anymore, but what I dread is the day when I'm not sad to leave, or when my family doesn't miss me anymore. My parents have taught me so much in the years I've grown up. They have given me a testimony of my Savior and raised me to love him. That is something so special to me. I love my parents & I don't show them that enough.

 I'm thankful for my little siblings. I am the oldest of 5. I love them each for their individuality...my parents have some crazy kids. I feel like the oldest 2 have grown up enough and don't need me around anymore. I hope they do! I'm always there for them. That's what keeps me sad, is that as I'm the oldest, I don't get to see them grow up. There are so many things each day my 6-year-old sister and my 8-year-old brother say that keep me laughing. Over the break, my brother Brayden asked if "Madonna" was a stage name. He is also creating a "resume" (literally, he air-quoted the word) of airport drawings for when he becomes an aviation architect. He also informed me that we celebrate Jesus' birth in the winter even though he was born in the spring. He is a little genius and I wish I could be there for all of his little tangents.

 My sister, Savannah was the sister I prayed for for many years. I cried at the ultrasound when my mom was pregnant with Brayden, which of course made my overly-emotional mother cry. Then I cried when I went to the ultrasound when she was pregnant with Savannah. She is nothing like what I thought a little sister would be. I am 12 years older than her, but there is still a sibling rivalry. She is the biggest, spoiled, sassiest princess I have ever encountered. Needless to say, she is a redhead. My mom thinks she will burn off all the craziness by the time she is a teenager, but I have a feeling she just says that to make her feel better. She came in upset into her room and told me she had a horrible life. When I told her she didn't, she reassured me that I didn't know what it was like to be her, and that I was not allowed to talk to her unless she was happy. I asked her why she was unhappy and she said "You're still talking! If you talk to me again, I will punch you. I don't want to punch you, so I wouldn't talk if I were you." Does that sum her up nicely? Thought so.

I'm also unbelievably grateful for my friends. I've always been an open book, so I love when 
people accept me for who I am...'cause they usually get all of me- the bad, the good, the weird. One of the biggest reasons I miss being home is living next door to my best friend, Nicole. All the years and all the houses I ever lived in as a kid never having anyone in 
my neighborhood to be my friend. Waiting was worth it! I was the luckiest person alive, & I miss basically living with my best friend for 7 years of my life. We're pretty much the same person, and it's sad to be away. I love her for always being the person I could do nothing and anything with, our inside jokes, and how excited she was for me to come to BYU. 

This goes to my best friends here in Utah. I was so scared that I wouldn't find friends that I could truly connect with. I have always had amazing friends and I was scared that wouldn't happen for me here. Well, I was wrong. I have had the best time at college with Alex and Annie (I really need an A name don't I...). I am so excited to be the crazy grandma that meets up with her college roommates, 60 years from now, cackling about all our crazy stories (we need some more guys...let this be your motivation). They definitely help me to be a better person & make me feel like I have a home away from home.

Last but never least I am so thankful to be at this school.  I am thankful for my testimony which got me to this point in my life. It's very humbling to think of who I may be if I wasn't a member of this church. It's more than just a religion or a church; it's something that has taught me to live better everyday, and that I can through Jesus Christ. I see how much my Heavenly Father has had a hand in my life and it's amazing. I don't deserve much of it. 

But what a year! Life is flying by & I just want to slow it down for a bit. I need to write thankful posts more often-there is so much I could write. Hope everyone's holiday was as great as mine was!

Boldness pt. 1

I really need to get better at this who blogging thing. It's been a month. That's bad. But in my defense, I've been writing in my other journals..so that counts right? I'll aim for at least once a week. I'm sitting here in the Wilk (aka the central building at BYU for all my basic needs) and I am meant to be studying for my biology test I need to take in exactly 1.2 hours. gah. The problem is...bio is pretty easy for me. So it begins a vicious cycle of barely reading my assigned material because I think tests are easy,which were really only easy because I actually did read for the first test. Did you get that? In essence, I'm procrastinating (refer to previous post). Would you like an update of my lovely little life here in central Utah, city of love, dead of winter? Thought so.

I got my first BYU kiss! whoooo. Most of the time that happens for every pair of love-stricken Provo18-year old lovers within their first 72 hours of meeting...but I'm trying to be individual here. ..yeah. As if my loneliness was a choice. But before you get all excited and start wondering what reversed the universe in cursing me with my unforgiving misfortune..realize now that it wasn't real. My recently become very close friend Walker likes to be bold. He likes to make other people feel uncomfortable with his extreme flirtiness and lack of shame. Usually this is aimed at his current love, Annie. Also one of my best friends here. Yet Annie is a sweet girl. And feels nervous and a little confused at what to do when Walker flirts with her so much. Yup...you see where this is going? Thus began the game "Who will turn away first?" Walker suggested we play. In the middle of the sidewalk, at 12:30 in the morning, in front of my friends and said lover, Annie. He lost the first round when stared into my eyes and slowly leaned in with his lips to mine.. he didn't think I would lean back to nearly kiss him. Then I felt severely awkward and smiled too much as he leaned in at a deathly slow pace that I looked away. Then I choked on ice (my very FAVORITE ice..little snowball ice. yeah, it's great). Then, I just point blank kissed him. (what? I despise losing)

 It was a kindergarten kiss. And super quick. And I wish (along with Annie and Alex) I had prolonged the kiss into something passionate and undeniably awkward, hoping that we wouldn't look in each other's general direction for a few hours. Nope. Wasted! The one chance to completely annihilate a shameless flirt with sheer awkwardity..my forte! I like being bold..it's fun. I just wish I had someone to make it count.. ;) At least I got a high-5 from Annie who is obviously excited we will potentially have kissed the same boy... when has that ever happened in the history of The Girl World? Haha. I love Annie. I love Walker. And I love them even more together, fingers crossed!

In reference to The Office picture, I do understand it is not a complete representation of my experience. Yeah, Walker is a boy. And I'm a girl. But i typed in awkward kiss and got this..how could I refuse the most awkward kiss I've ever witnessed..from my very favorite show? Anywho, one day, with the right guy it will be more like ....

...With a lot less adultery but equal parts of rain.

If procrastinating were a sport...

I'd gone pro years ago. It's almost 2:30 in the morning and guess what I've been doing? Watching Lost. Wanna guess what I was doing before that? Eating homemade lasagna. Sure, I brought along my homework to do at my Grandparents' house. A whole notecard was made for my upcoming exam when i got distracted with card tricks and youtube. Really? Card tricks? Yup. Fastinating. I also got to watch kid history for the fourth time this week. This is an extreme problem...and I'm at a loss to motivate myself to do otherwise. I'm sliding by with good grades and somehow manage to get my homework done...but I have a feeling this is not exactly healthy. I also failed to mention that I haven't slept in my bed for 2 days to stay up until 5 am and sleep in a crowded twin bed. This is the life, huh? I swear I'm a smart person. I just get tiny little obsessions. I wish it were still senior year of  high school where I didn't have to study for my 4 classes and could easily plan to complete assignments a class period before they were due. Hmmm..maybe writing about it has helped me to accept my problem. What were the other numbered steps to the Procrastination Anonymous program? I have a feeling it might take some time to get to them...

Hi there,

So I've been trying to come up with something on my mind that's inspiring, and noteworthy and just kind of fun to read about. Something that would make people say, "hey, that girl Makenzie is pretty deep." HA. So wait till you see what I'll be writing about tonight. I feel awkward on this blog sometimes, I never really expected anyone to read this. Sometimes I am oddly poetic, and sometimes too open, and always a little awkward. (Hey, I write what comes to mind...which is a jumble of non-cohesive things) Just keep in mind that you should not judge me for this.

HAHAHAHA. SO GREAT.
I found this from my very best friend, Nicole Gobbo. She made me watch this at probably age 14. It's stuck with me ever since. I always tell people that the first time they watch it, they will be severely disturbed. Then the second time and on, they will quote it. For the rest of their lives.
So, yep. Is it the most appropriate youtube video? Probably not. Should you watch it with young children in lieu of a bedtime story? I would not recommend. But if you are looking for something that came from a pot-smoker of Britain, which you can quote to your heart's delight for the rest of your days, that may possibly give you nightmares, I give 5 stars. I think one of my very favorite things about this video is showing it to my best friends. The reactions are priceless. I mean, they should learn to expect the unexpected from me...but still...

ya love me. and ya seen me and ya know me. BYE :)

Let it NO.

i saw snow.
it fell as snow and landed as rain but that DOESN'T MATTER.
i saw it.

and i'm going to die.
i have one sweatshirt, 2 leather jackets, and 3 half decent fall jackets.
did you hear the word FREEZING WINTER COAT in that list? nope.

so it was cold today. like 37 degrees. which isn't completely and utterly hopelessly miserable.
But...today is October 6th. Which means, i have a lot longer to go. And a lot colder to get.
P.S i believe i made a deal with God, that i get a boyfriend before it snows. None of this cuddling, romantic movie watching with hot chocolate goes on until we're ALL included.

California girl, in Utah, in the winter.

you may laugh at me but i only PRAY i have that warm of clothing. being as i am nearly penniless.

4 pictures

Writing on this is awesome. It's so therapeutic. Some things are just too mundane or too over-spoken about, so i just write it here. I guess I should share a little about myself. I am not really writing to anyone, & I'm not sure who will listen...but whenever you stumble across this public journal, you'll learn I wasn't such a stranger. I feel like posting pictures, too. Maybe I'll just post a few random pictures I can find that describe me. If that's possible.

I love lightning storms. Love it. Some people could fall asleep to the ocean waves crashing down around them. I want a lightning storm. Every night. It's so devilishly beautiful. It's angry and loud and brilliant. This picture just makes me want to lie down in a creepy desert and watch the lightning. I love creepy stuff like that. We need more here in California. They just don't exist.

in-n-out. If I have to explain, then you don't deserve to read this section. I could quite literally eat this everyday. That is probably not flattering at all, and I promise I am not disgustingly unhealthy. But let's just say, if I had to eat a burger, fries, and strawberry shake once a day, I would not be unhappy. Until of course, they are wheeling my half ton body into the restaurant. But that's what drive-thrus are for, right?

Jim from The Office. Just..anything John Krasinski actually. I am so proud of him for being hilarious, cute, and sweet in real life. ugh, he is my dream. It's actually kind of depressing. It's kind of unexplainable. My love for him cannot be expressed. Only felt. One day his inevitable celebrity divorce will take place and he will find me.

Cities. I am a city girl. I think. I can actually live in many places. Including a beach house, a penthouse apartment, a gorgeous cabin in the mountains, and a plantation house in the south. I want to live everywhere. But i love big cities. As nasty as it is, I even like Vegas. I like driving through it at night. It is just bright and busy and alive.

Coming Home

So I have just come back from my first term at Brigham Young University. Actually, I've been home for 3 hours and 50 minutes...but who is really counting anyway? I am excited to be back and see my friends (trust me, I already got a huge awakening from my family on the 10 hour drive home. Nothing has changed. Which is good..right?) I'm excited to be in a place without finals and not in a cramped dorm. I'm excited to have my mom's cooking, and excited to do laundry for free. I'm excited to be around people I know..and to not be around the overly exuberant, happy blondes with perfect smiles. I'm sorry, I am a happy girl. Trust me. I just express myself in different ways. I am excited to come back to a place that I know.

I am however, not excited to come to a home without my room.

I love my room. I'm not sure how other people feel about their rooms, but I am in love with mine. It's painted red and has a walk-in closet and a bathroom (every girl's dream). It has a desk with a bulletin board, that is usually covered in magazine clippings of John Krasinski and notes from my friends. It has a queen bed that once was beneath a canopy (another dream fulfilled) and layered with a giant down comforter and pillows. I love that bed. We were a perfect fit. The saddest part of leaving was packing that room full of memories, closing the door, and walking out. I was leaving the only part of my house that was mine...and would never be mine again. I grew up in that room.

I didn't even feel like I was coming home. It was weird. I know I belong here more than anywhere else, but I still feel like I have no place in my home. Life goes on.  There's still hustle and bustle with all 4 kids left in the group. Nothing stops. And that's how it should be. I feel comfortable and happy here. It's just that I still haven't felt my graduation hit me, or that I live in a different state. I feel like I've been at summer camp for 8 weeks, and here is my break.

One day I'll fit in perfectly, and have my queen bed back. Life is great, and college is better. And now it's great to be back.