Coming Home

So I have just come back from my first term at Brigham Young University. Actually, I've been home for 3 hours and 50 minutes...but who is really counting anyway? I am excited to be back and see my friends (trust me, I already got a huge awakening from my family on the 10 hour drive home. Nothing has changed. Which is good..right?) I'm excited to be in a place without finals and not in a cramped dorm. I'm excited to have my mom's cooking, and excited to do laundry for free. I'm excited to be around people I know..and to not be around the overly exuberant, happy blondes with perfect smiles. I'm sorry, I am a happy girl. Trust me. I just express myself in different ways. I am excited to come back to a place that I know.

I am however, not excited to come to a home without my room.

I love my room. I'm not sure how other people feel about their rooms, but I am in love with mine. It's painted red and has a walk-in closet and a bathroom (every girl's dream). It has a desk with a bulletin board, that is usually covered in magazine clippings of John Krasinski and notes from my friends. It has a queen bed that once was beneath a canopy (another dream fulfilled) and layered with a giant down comforter and pillows. I love that bed. We were a perfect fit. The saddest part of leaving was packing that room full of memories, closing the door, and walking out. I was leaving the only part of my house that was mine...and would never be mine again. I grew up in that room.

I didn't even feel like I was coming home. It was weird. I know I belong here more than anywhere else, but I still feel like I have no place in my home. Life goes on.  There's still hustle and bustle with all 4 kids left in the group. Nothing stops. And that's how it should be. I feel comfortable and happy here. It's just that I still haven't felt my graduation hit me, or that I live in a different state. I feel like I've been at summer camp for 8 weeks, and here is my break.

One day I'll fit in perfectly, and have my queen bed back. Life is great, and college is better. And now it's great to be back.